Roller Girl by Vanessa North

Author:Vanessa North [North, Vanessa]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Riptide Publishing
Published: 2016-05-05T04:00:00+00:00

On Sunday morning, we cuddle up on Joe’s couch with coffee and our phones, the smell of waffles lingering sweet and heavy in the air. It’s an easy laziness, with nowhere to be and nothing to do but enjoy her company. Her feet are in my lap, her toenails an appealing glittery teal, and her body shakes with laughter at something on the screen of her phone.

“Stella changed her relationship status on Facebook to ‘in a relationship’ but Bex’s says ‘it’s complicated.’”

“Oh boy.”

“Yeah. Gonna be some dramarama at practice next week.”

“They make such a cute couple though.”

“Uh-huh.” She twists around and sits up, moving to straddle my lap. “So, I want to meet your friends.”

I flinch. Not because I don’t want her to meet Ben and Eddie—that particular introduction is inevitable—but because being with Joe feels too new, and I don’t want to share her yet.

“Soon,” I whisper, pulling her into a soft, coffee-flavored kiss. “I’ll tell them to come to a bout once I make the team.”

“Oh, then I’m definitely doing assessments this week.” She pulls away from me, laughing. “I want to meet this Ben dude.”

“Ha! That’s the perfect word for him. Ben is such a dude.”

“But he’s gay, right?”

I nod. “Yeah, and he’s engaged to a cute younger guy. At first, they don’t make sense, until they laugh together, and you see the intense way Davis looks at him, like the whole world could be unraveling around them, and nothing else would matter but Ben.”

“Whoa.” Joe raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah.” I don’t tell her how I understand what Dave must feel in those moments now, because it’s got to be like what I feel when Joe touches me. It seems too soon, too big, and all of a sudden that ache in my chest is back.

“Was that weird, when you guys were riding pro? I mean, extreme sports don’t seem to be the most queer-friendly.”

What? Oh, Ben.

“Um, not really? He wasn’t exactly out on the circuit. Of course, there were rumors. He wasn’t closeted, and people made jokes about him and Eddie all the time, but he would just shrug ’em off. Said to deny it would insult Eddie, so he’d rather ignore it. And after his accident, it was moot. People don’t give a fuck about you once you stop competing.”

“So, forgive me if I’m prying, but I’m fascinated by these gay guys you grew up with. They knew you were trans?”

“Before anyone else did.” And I’m suddenly fascinated by the ice-blue glaze on her delicate little coffee cups. I trace it with my finger. “Before my family. Before my wife.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. Lisa has plenty of reasons to be mad at me, but the one I regret the most was hiding my dysphoria and eventually the beginnings of my transition from her as long as I did. Ben knew when we were teenagers. And even though Lisa and I were high school sweethearts, I didn’t come out to her until the night before the press conference where I announced my retirement.

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